Learning when to walk away from something is one of life’s hardest lessons. Most of us, especially women, are innately programmed to try and make things work, to figure things out and to just keep going – regardless of the personal cost.
But there comes a time in life when a clear line needs to be drawn in the sand and when you have to allow yourself to walk away from things that are not making you happy. A time to understand that walking away does not equal failure.
In fact learning when to quit something that is making you unhappy could actually be your greatest success story.
Whether its resigning from a job that is unfulfilling, ending a toxic relationship or learning to say no to an event or project because you are already over committed – knowing when to let go and when to say “No” can be overwhelming, it can be complicated but it can also be NECESSARY!
When it’s time to quit your job
Making the decision to quit a job can be hugely scary – especially if you don’t have another job to go to. It is not a decision to take lightly but here are some key signals that indicate if you should consider resigning:
• You dread going to work: Everyone can have a bad day at the office but if you are finding yourself regularly dreading getting out of bed to go to work then you might consider that things need to change.
• Your health is suffering: Are you working so hard that your work/life balance is out of sink and you are neglecting healthy eating and exercise? Are you resorting to a few drinks each night in order to cope with the bad day at work you just had or are you looking for excuses to take a sick day so you simple don’t have to face another day at work? If you are doing any or all of the above regularly then you need to reassess.
• You find yourself constantly complaining about work: Everyone is allowed to have a good vent from time to time but if you are finding yourself constantly complaining about work and colleagues then it might be time for a change.
• There is no room for advancement: If there is no room for career growth and advancement then it might be time to change jobs to one where you have the possibility to learn and develop new skills.
• The work environment is toxic: A negative work environment can drag you down and extinguish your enthusiasm for your job and career. If your co-workers and boss are constantly complaining and are unhappy chances are you are too and its time to move on.
• You can’t speak up: Every worker should be able to feel confident and safe to politely voice his or her views and opinions. If your workplace is oppressive and you don’t feel comfortable in ‘speaking up’ its time to look for new job.
• The company culture is not a good fit for you: Every company has a different work culture, expectations and standards. If your work culture is not a good fit for your working style and personal needs then its best to find an alternative that is.
• You are constantly justifying staying in your job: If you are finding yourself making up reasons and excuses as to why your staying in a job then you are definitely ready to move on.
When its time to quit a relationship
Regardless of the level of a relationship – whether it is intimate or plutonic there are certain relationships that are not healthy. When you find yourself in one of these then it can often be very difficult to break ties. Here are some of the telling signs that it is time to call it quits on a relationship:
• Trust is broken: Trust is the most important factor in any and every relationship. Nothing weakens a relationship more than deceit.
• You change when you are in their company: If you ever feel that you need to be “different” when you are in the company of another person then this is a tell tale sign that the relationship is dysfunctional. Healthy relationships are built on the foundation that you should be comfortable, at ease and completely true to yourself when you are in each other’s company.
• You feel negative or ‘down’ after spending time with them: A positive relationship should make you feel great. Spending time with that person should make you feel stronger, better and more uplifted. If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel constantly sad or down around a person then it might be time to walk away.
• They don’t actively listen to you: A person that values and respects their relationship with you will make time for you and actively listen to you. If they don’t then chances are they are not as invested in the relationship as they should be.
• You are putting in all the work: Relationships are a two way street. If you are the one doing all the chasing and making all the compromises – then stop!
• You are constantly being disappointed: If you can’t depend upon a person and they are regularly letting you down then it is very difficult to have a functional and healthy relationship with them. Consistency and dependability are key components to prosperous relations.
Saying goodbye is never easy whether it’s to a job or to a relationship but sometimes it is absolutely necessary in order to maintain your own mental health and emotional wellbeing. Take time to weigh up the pros and cons of any individual situation but don’t be frightened to make a break if you feel that your future happiness and fulfilment depends on it. Giving up on something toxic is not a mistake or a failure. Putting yourself and your needs and happiness first will be your greatest success!